I have been married since 3 years, but if feels like 5 years! My wife is really submissive and that’s one thing I don’t appreciate about her. As a man, I have always been attracted to women who are dominating, specially to ‘femdom’ – women who dominate in bed.
I have tried to coach my wife to change her behaviour, but it hasn’t made any difference and that’s why I have distanced myself from her.
What should I do to get over this urge to have a woman dominate me sexually? I fear I might get involved with such a woman in the near future. Please help me. – By Anonymous
Response by Jumana Rajkotwala : Being submissive is a part of your wife’s personality. While it doesn’t suit your purpose, your demand to either change her personality or then distance yourself from her will not help your relationship. Should she not be accepted for the person she is instead of asking her to transform into someone else to suit your needs?
I understand that you feel sexually unsatisfied because the physical intimacy is not as per your preference. But, getting involved with another woman to satisfy one aspect of your relationship will affect all other areas of your relationship too.
Think it over and weigh the pros and cons, is the trait of your wife being a submissive person one that defines her completely? Aren’t there other strengths that you can focus on and build a stronger bond and trust that could help her get more confident and accepting of you and your desires?
Help her build her overall personality into a confident one in all areas, give her responsibilities and allow her at times to fall back to her submissive form without getting annoyed or distancing yourself. It might help her grow into a stronger person and you could benefit in turn.
Jumana Rajkotwala, is a Counselor at YourDOST.com
Lifestyle Desk (Times of India)